Where is My God

July 26, 2010 at 8:02 2 comments

This morning when I woke up and I found myself questioning God how this disease lines up with,

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

I asked him how this disease is not harming me?   How does this disease provide me and my family with a future and hope?   These questions are to be best unanswered.

Jer 29:11-14 (NIV)

I do not want to go down this road it will lead me to misery.   I do not want to put my Lord in the dock and try him like Job did.   I am sinner like Job with a black heart.   Everyone of us deserves to die for our self interest and wickedness.  Pray for me please I do not want to spend my last days of my life in blackness.

My Redeemer is before me, behind me, above me, guiding me and leading me to himself.  My life is not worth dust I am made of without him.   He is my inheritance and my great reward.   I need not question him for sings over me, he loves me, and he will never leave or forsake me.


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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Carol Noren Johnson  |  July 26, 2010 at 8:02

    Paul, I asked “why” last week also, as I wait to find out what kind of dementia my husband has–is is Vascular Dementia or Alzheimer’s. My answer came in someone posting on my blog that the Lord is my shepherd. She didn’t write this, but it made me think of Psalm 23. Praying for you and also for your family who are asking “why” also.

  • 2. Lee and Anita Troup  |  July 26, 2010 at 8:02

    Our mutual friends, Greg and Martha Hackenberger, have kept us informed about Paul and your family. Be assured of our deep concern for you as you walk through the valley. Paul’s strong witness through his increasing pain is a challenge to all believers. Our prayer is that you will find God’s peace and a confident hope in His faithfulness. We love you. LEE and ANITA


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