ASL Udate

May 11, 2010 at 8:02 3 comments

When we got to the hospital they asked me how my pain I was from 1 to 1O. I said, 9.  I have never experience the pain of a 10.   Well I felt closer to a 10 today.

The tube is perpendicular to my stomach with a saucer around the tube touching my skin. The saucer has 6 knobs spaced evenly under it. Pain from my muscles spazing brought me so much pain I was moaning and gripping the side rails in the bed I was laying in with great force. They gave happy drugs and the Dr. Kim came to me after an hour. They put the IV in my right arm twice to get blood. I think the nurse went through my vein the first time. Later I asked to move the IV to my left hand. An hour later they did so and that didn’t hurt at all.  I was there now for about hour two hours and a half. I was oozing blood and the skin around the tube was hard and very painful. Dr. Kim tried to pull the saucer up away from my skin and the pain from that actionI had never felt before and I cried out in pain and he could not move it. He tried three times! He gave me more happy drugs and tried again. He moved it about 1/8 of an inch away from my skin and I thought he was driving a stake into my heart and wept openly for a long time. That was worse pain I ever felt in my life. I was taught what a level 9 pain was and I was afraid.

However, the true 10 was experience by Jesus Christ when he bore my sins on the cross and his eternal loving dance with the His Father and the Holy Spirit was severed and the Father punished for our sin. That was the worst pain of all time. But in Hebrews it says chapter 2 verse 9 But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels, now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone.  10 In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering. 11 Both the one who makes men holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers.  12 He says, “I will declare your name to my brothers; in the presence of the congregation I will sing your praises.” 13 And again, “I will put my trust in him.  And again he says, “Here am I, and the children God has given me.” 14 Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him  how holds the power of death–that is the devil– 15 and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death 16 For surely is not angel he helps, the Abraham’s descendants. 17 For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. 18 Because he himself when he was tempted, he is able those who are being tempted.

Again Hebrews says, 2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.   3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

God the Father punished Christ for my sins to make me his brother.  Jesus is a brother I can follow into the darkest places.


Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

ALS Update Humility, Repentance and Submission

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Martha  |  May 11, 2010 at 8:02

    Paul, though the level of your pain is horrific, still I see Jesus walking around with you in this burning fiery furnace. Praying with fervency that you never lose the sense that He is holding you fast in all these things. Praying He will ease your pain and bring you healing “immediately, if not, sooner!”
    Weeping with you, hurting for you, praying over you.

  • 2. Julie Swartz  |  May 11, 2010 at 8:02

    Sometimes, life hurts too much. Thank you for still finding perspective in the midst of this awful disease and sharing it. You and your family are a blessing beyond measure.

  • 3. Just Me  |  May 11, 2010 at 8:02

    Paul, In no way am I marginalizing or belittling your pain, but I’m glad your home and everything will be “fine”.


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